I've been feeling like a zombie for the past 2 weeks.
I wake up and just go through the routine of everyday. Wake up, go to work, then go home and sleep.
The past christmas was the most unchristmassy christmas of my entire life. I decided to work Christmas Eve and greeted the 25th by trying to appease a client who was getting pretty upset. Whoopppeee!
Sure I receieved a lot of text messages, YM messages and emails from friends wishing me the best this season, but I just skimmed through them and pressed delete. I didn't even send a single christmas message to anyone. (sorry, guys!)
I didn't even see any of my friends! I swear, my friends and I usually meet up on Christmas day or after Noche Buena and I didn't see them. They texted me about a get-together on the night of the 25th but I decided to stay in bed. And well, it doesn't help that I have cough and colds and that my fever goes on and off. But then again, when did the flu ever stop me from going out?
My mom and her husband left for the U.S. 2 days ago and I suddenly find that everything is back to normal. Which isn't really that good because I now find myself alone a lot of times. But I've discovered that sleeping and sleeping and sleeping helps because at least, I won't have to think about anything.
I've never been this apathetic. Actually, I am never apathetic. But now...nothing. I'm never in the mood for anything. And it seems that everything I have to do, I just do, to get things done. There's no heart in it.
I think the only time I find myself really smiling is when I'm with my babies-- my 5-month-old cousin, Marco and my 2-month-old nephew, Gabe. Because there's really something about kids that lift your spirit. And one can't fully explain why. In fact, I think that that will remain to be one of life's greatest mysteries.
I've always wondered how it was like to be emotionless and stoic. Now I know. And just in case you want to know, it isn't nice at all. It's better to just choose between happy and miserable.
Thing is, I'm neither. So, what do I do?
On a lighter note, I just wanted to share this picture taken last October. My college buddies and I decided to get together after a long time. I love this picture so much because we were all laughing (I can't remember why) and my friend's husband took a picture of us. It was an amazing night.
From L TO R: Claire, Moi, Liezel, Monica, Em and Terry
Bunny @ Wednesday, December 28, 2005
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about moi
Loves the beach, wishes she had more time and money to travel, recently got hooked to
climbing mountains, reads anything she can get her hands on, frustrated writer, adores her
3-year-old Lhasa Apso, Tashi,
constantly needs caffeine, wonders when she'll quit smoking, and will most
likely die due to liver complications from drinking too much (if the cigarettes
doesn't get to her lungs first). Can't live without accessories especially
big, dangling earrings, shoe freak (aren't we all?), sucker for discovering
hole-in-the-wall restaurants, will ingest anything spicy, enjoys giving and receiving
massages, addicted to Friends, Sex and the City and CSI, goes gaga over kids, dreams of
being alone with Jim Morrison and smoking a joint with Bob
Marley. Would love to party with Gwen Stefani, shop with Patricia Field, write poetry with
Maya Angelou and have Sting, Nelson Mandela, Mark Twain and Bono over for
dinner.
