It's been clouded with so many things for the past weeks.
Both good and bad.
And the worst part is, I refuse to talk about it with anyone. Which is, if you know me well, a little weird. It's also the reason for my sporadic blog entries.
Since I couldn't get any peace and quiet, I resorted to drowning myself in all the noise outside forces can bring so I can be deaf to whatever it was my soul was crying out to me.
But of course, that didn't work. Of course, that didn't take away the nagging voice within me.
I think I just need to be alone. I thought that locking myself in my room during the weekend, getting all the sleep I can get and receiving a really orgasmic massage (Thanks, Louise!) would do the trick but uhmmm...I digress.
I think I will check in a hotel this weekend...and spend the night there with just me. I will sleep to my heart's content. I will luxuriate in goosed-down pillows and comforters. I will watch TV, lotsa lotsa TV. I will catch the sunset because I've forgotten how gorgeous it looks even when I'm looking at it through a smog-filled city. I'll bring that bottle of good white wine a friend gave me. Maybe I'll buy some fresh salmon and swiss chocolate cake from Becky's Kitchen(I've been craving for their cake since last weekend). I will dance. I will sing with my iPod. I will soak my weary body in a bubble bath until I start to prune. I will read. I will write poetry. I will be incommunicado.
For one day, I would like to not have to think about work, things I need to pay for, errands I need to run for the house, for my mom, for my sisters and other way too personal problems that I will not reveal. For just a day or two, I would just like to be...well, be with me.
So yeah, I think I'll do that. MAYBE. If nothing better comes up.
Any suggestions as to where I can stay? :)
P.S. I had the most disturbing dream last night. I dreamt that I was being raped by another woman and I could not do anything about it. What on earth is that supposed to mean? *shudder*
Bunny @ Monday, October 03, 2005
Loves the beach, wishes she had more time and money to travel, recently got hooked to
climbing mountains, reads anything she can get her hands on, frustrated writer, adores her
3-year-old Lhasa Apso, Tashi,
constantly needs caffeine, wonders when she'll quit smoking, and will most
likely die due to liver complications from drinking too much (if the cigarettes
doesn't get to her lungs first). Can't live without accessories especially
big, dangling earrings, shoe freak (aren't we all?), sucker for discovering
hole-in-the-wall restaurants, will ingest anything spicy, enjoys giving and receiving
massages, addicted to Friends, Sex and the City and CSI, goes gaga over kids, dreams of
being alone with Jim Morrison and smoking a joint with Bob
Marley. Would love to party with Gwen Stefani, shop with Patricia Field, write poetry with
Maya Angelou and have Sting, Nelson Mandela, Mark Twain and Bono over for