Wednesday, October 12, 2005

I was going out of my mind last Monday because of a message my GM sent to me: "Bunny, please see me before you leave for the day."

Unfortunately (although I felt fortunate at that time), I had to leave work early and GM said she would just talk to me the next day.

Tuesday came and I was fretting because she sent me another message. This time, it went, "Please make yourself available after 1pm. I need to speak to you."

It sounded bad. Even when a couple of colleagues assured me I had nothing to worry about, I felt it was going to be bad. And I spent the whole day yesterday racking my brain for anything bad that I might have done at work, that would be justifiable grounds for the company to fire me. And the thing is, I couldn't come up with any. Except for coming in late a few times last week, I had nothing on me. I really had nothing.

At around 2pm, I stepped into her office and she was holding my evaluation papers. And she starts by saying that although my final rating isn't out yet, she would like to let me know what marks she gave me on my evaluation.(This is the 2nd one for the year)

Oh God, maybe I did really bad this time..., I thought to myself.

Apparently not. I actually got pretty good marks. Of course, there's a lot of room for improvement but I'm a tad proud to say that the ratings my GM gave me was not bad at all.

So here was the thing--the reason for the meeting. She and the president of the company have been discussing for the longest time how I would be a big help to the other department. However, they are also worried that the department I am handling now might go haywire if I leave. (For the record, I'm not trying to say I'm indispensable because God knows no one is.)

My self-esteem was given a little boost when I was compared to the girl who previously managed the department and to quote my GM, "I'm really glad you were able to fix things."

The other department works the night shift because they deal with foreign clients. It's new but its growing so fast. Right now, my friend who manages the team has 35 people under her and my GM is worried because thats just too much and she doesn't want my friend to get burned out. The department will grow to 60 very soon and she wants to divide the department into 2. 30 agents for me, 30 for my friend. The downside is that I'm not sure how comfortable I am working the night shift. Once in a while is fine but for good? Uh uh. Plus I only get to enjoy U.S. holidays which we know isn't much compared to Philippine holidays. The nice thing about moving is, its a new challenge and pay will be higher what with night differential and all.

If I move, I need to pick someone from my team who I feel can take over. If I decide to stay, well, I get to keep my job and there's a big possibility I will be sent to Naga for a month to train the new people working at our office there, which is currently being built.

"I'm sure you'll have fun in Naga! Imagine, you can go on roadtrips and since Sorsogon is nearby, you can go diving with the Butandings! Plus, you'll still have internet and VOIP so you'll still get to talk to your boyfriend!", my bubbly GM says.

I have to decide before the long weekend, which is officially on the 28th. I'm more inclined to stick to my current job. I'm happy here. But what do you think?

Bunny @ Wednesday, October 12, 2005

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Friday, October 07, 2005

DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES

As for me, I'm just plain desperate. Hahaha! Kidding.

A few weeks ago, Charo and Kookie were talking about the show over dinner and because I don't really watch much TV nowadays, I could not relate. I was so interested in the story that I bought dvds of the 1st season. And I am hooked. That show is just...wow. Unlike Sex and the City, which don't get me wrong, I also love, Desperate housewives is much more intouch with reality. It tackles issues that pretty much anyone can relate to albeit more from a wife's point of view.

I love how it is mysterious, creepy, funny and poignant all at the same time.

This is my favorite quote from the series, so far:

"Yes, each new day in suburbia brings with it a new set of lies. The worst are the ones we tell ourselves right before we fall asleep. We whisper them in the dark, telling ourselves we're happy, or that he's happy. That we can change, or that he will change his mind. We persuade ourselves that we can live with our sins, or that we can live without him. Yes, each night before we fall asleep we lie to ourselves in a desperate, desperate hope that come morning - it will all be true."--Mary Alice Young

So true. Oh well. All I know is that I can't wait to end my day and go to sleep. Because tomorrow, is Bunny day. Actually, it's Bunny weekend. Hahaha!

I hope you guys enjoy your weekends :)

Bunny @ Friday, October 07, 2005

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Wednesday, October 05, 2005

BEST I'LL EVER BE
Sister Hazel

I miss you
I miss being overwhelmed by you
And I need rescue
I think I'm fading away
But I keep thinking that you'll wake me up with a whisper in my ear
I keep hoping that you'll sneak in my room

So I wait and I wait
And I run old scenes through my tired head
Of the days we laid by the school and said forever
Was that the best I'll ever be

I miss you
I miss talking all night long with you
And I need this to find a way to your home
My love can you hear me
Have I been hoping loud enough, wishing hard enough
Can you see me when I'm asleep all alone - alone

So I wait and I wait
And I run myself in the same old circles
I sit and I stare
And I run old scenes through my tired head
Of the days that we laid by the school and said forever
Was that the best I'll ever be

Can't keep my hands from shaking
Stumbling through the wreckage again
But you're gone

So I wait and I wait
And I run myself in the same old circles
And I sit and I stare
And I run old scenes through my tired head
Of the days that we laid on our backs and said forever
Was that the best I'll ever be
Was that the best I'll ever be
Was that the best I'll ever be

Bunny @ Wednesday, October 05, 2005

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Monday, October 03, 2005

There is a traffic jam inside my head.

It's been clouded with so many things for the past weeks.

Both good and bad.

And the worst part is, I refuse to talk about it with anyone. Which is, if you know me well, a little weird. It's also the reason for my sporadic blog entries.

Since I couldn't get any peace and quiet, I resorted to drowning myself in all the noise outside forces can bring so I can be deaf to whatever it was my soul was crying out to me.

But of course, that didn't work. Of course, that didn't take away the nagging voice within me.

I think I just need to be alone. I thought that locking myself in my room during the weekend, getting all the sleep I can get and receiving a really orgasmic massage (Thanks, Louise!) would do the trick but uhmmm...I digress.

I think I will check in a hotel this weekend...and spend the night there with just me. I will sleep to my heart's content. I will luxuriate in goosed-down pillows and comforters. I will watch TV, lotsa lotsa TV. I will catch the sunset because I've forgotten how gorgeous it looks even when I'm looking at it through a smog-filled city. I'll bring that bottle of good white wine a friend gave me. Maybe I'll buy some fresh salmon and swiss chocolate cake from Becky's Kitchen (I've been craving for their cake since last weekend). I will dance. I will sing with my iPod. I will soak my weary body in a bubble bath until I start to prune. I will read. I will write poetry. I will be incommunicado.

For one day, I would like to not have to think about work, things I need to pay for, errands I need to run for the house, for my mom, for my sisters and other way too personal problems that I will not reveal. For just a day or two, I would just like to be...well, be with me.

So yeah, I think I'll do that. MAYBE. If nothing better comes up.

Any suggestions as to where I can stay? :)

P.S.
I had the most disturbing dream last night.
I dreamt that I was being raped by another woman
and I could not do anything about it. What on earth
is that supposed to mean? *shudder*

Bunny @ Monday, October 03, 2005

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Sunday, October 02, 2005

My entire body has been in pain all week so I called for a massage yesterday afternoon. The woman who came was blind and while talking, she mentioned that her husband is also blind. And tactless me, said:

"Hindi ba mahirap yun, hindi mo siya nakikita?"

She says, "Ok lang yun. Hindi mo naman kailangan makita ang isang tao para malaman mo na talagang mahal mo siya..."

And that just made me smile and say, "Alam mo, totoo yan. Sobrang totoo yan..."

And then I closed my eyes and thought of Jay.

:)

Bunny @ Sunday, October 02, 2005

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THE LAST BRIDESMAID (Wahahahaha!)

My good college friend, Tarah got married last Wednesday and I was one of the bridesmaids. A week before the wedding, it dawned on me that among my close college friends, I was the only bachelorette remaining. Which totally made me dread going to the wedding because my college friends would all be there--married with kids, plus husbands in tow. And I was honestly worried that they would talk about marital issues, child birth and parenting tips and that I would feel left out because well, what would I know about those things, right?

We all met at the bride's hotel room for pictorials and true enough, as soon as I got there, one of my college friends says, "Bunny, you're the only one who isn't married! Don't you want to settle down?! You're already 26!" And all I could muster was a lame snicker.

The wedding was great, the groom almost made me cry. I was looking at him while my friend was making her way down the aisle and there was just something in his eyes, as he stared at his bride-to-be that seemed to say, "I can't believe I'm spending my life with her. I'm so lucky." The reception was nice and intimate and thankfully, my friends did not talk about marital or baby stuff. Our conversations felt like we were back in college again. We laughed our butts off at the AVP presentation because pictures from our college days were shown and gawd, we just looked so...different then. Yeaaahh, it was fun!

With college friends, Liezel and Clarice, who were secondary sponsors at the wedding

The entourage

The Newlyweds

With Clarice, at the reception

Bunny @ Sunday, October 02, 2005

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