links open windows
::S p U n K y D a i S y:: hit tracker

Thursday, May 26, 2005

YODA: Death is a natural part of life. Rejoice for those around you who transform into the Force. Mourn them, do not. Miss them, do not. Attachment leads to jealousy. The shadow of greed, that is.

ANAKIN: What must I do, Master Yoda?

YODA: Train yourself to let go of everything you fear to lose.

I lost one of the people on my team yesterday. We had to let him go. And I wish I could say that our reasons were completely justifiable. But in a way, they were not. He didn't really do anything that violated company policies. He has never really done anything to piss me off. Sure, he's screwed up a couple of times but, don't we all? I mean, sure, he got the lowest mark in his evaluation but it wasn't that bad. (Or maybe I just really feel bad that we had to let him go)

I tried with all my best efforts to explain to him why management had to do this. I was nothing but honest and I spared him the horse crap. I tried to be numb by being oblivious to his tears and by stopping myself from crying as well. But to become this unfeeling, cold-hearted, I-am-just-doing-my-job-don't-take-it-personally person, I could not. Because he was not just a colleague, he was also my friend, a funny friend who made coming to work something to look forward to because he makes everyone laugh, someone who kept me awake when I had to work the night shift for one week. But this is work. And being his immediate supervisor, as much as I loathed doing it, it was my job. It was part of my job to let him go.

I told him that unlike me, he was young and that because this was just his first job, I was mighty sure better and higher-paying jobs will come for him. And that I would miss working with him. And that he better keep in touch. And that he better show up at our team's outing.

The team has been quiet today. Really unusual for my team. Jokes and funny comments are still being uttered once in awhile but you can feel that there is a bit of tension and edginess in the air. Because everyone knows its not over. Here's to a stressful week ahead. :(

And I really miss Jay. It's been 10 days since I last spoke to him because he is cooped up in a hospital bed recovering from a car accident. It's heartbreaking how a complete stranger who was recklessly driving one night can change people's lives and cause his fellow strangers so much agony. I really miss Jay's way of just calming me and making me feel at ease amidst the pandemonium that is my life. But more than anything, I just want him to get better and I cannot thank God enough for making him well.

Train yourself to let go of everything you fear to lose, Yoda says. And I agree. Because life is uncertain that way. At one point, although there is really no telling when or what form it may come, and no matter how difficult it may be, we all have to let go. Like my job, its part of the deal, part of the package. It will happen. And it wouldn't hurt to be prepared.

[SPOILER ALERT] (Sorry Pinayhekmi! Haha!)

And besides, who wants to end up like Darth Vadar? Because of his crazy obsession to saving Padme's life, he turned to the dark side. And in the end, he still lost her.

May the force be with us all. Hehehe!

Uncle F, thanks for constantly making me
feel better during the past week. Really,
really appreciate it. (how much was your rate
again? Hahaha!)

about moi

Loves the beach, wishes she had more time and money to travel, recently got hooked to climbing mountains, reads anything she can get her hands on, frustrated writer, adores her 3-year-old Lhasa Apso, Tashi, constantly needs caffeine, wonders when she'll quit smoking, and will most likely die due to liver complications from drinking too much (if the cigarettes doesn't get to her lungs first). Can't live without accessories especially big, dangling earrings, shoe freak (aren't we all?), sucker for discovering hole-in-the-wall restaurants, will ingest anything spicy, enjoys giving and receiving massages, addicted to Friends, Sex and the City and CSI, goes gaga over kids, dreams of being alone with Jim Morrison and smoking a joint with Bob Marley. Would love to party with Gwen Stefani, shop with Patricia Field, write poetry with Maya Angelou and have Sting, Nelson Mandela, Mark Twain and Bono over for dinner.

View my complete profile
Custom Search

past bitchings

January 2002February 2002March 2002April 2002May 2002June 2002July 2002August 2002September 2002October 2002November 2002December 2002January 2003April 2003May 2003June 2003July 2003September 2003February 2004March 2004April 2004May 2004June 2004July 2004August 2004September 2004October 2004November 2004December 2004January 2005February 2005March 2005April 2005May 2005June 2005July 2005August 2005September 2005October 2005November 2005December 2005January 2006February 2006March 2006April 2006October 2006November 2006February 2007March 2007April 2007May 2007July 2007October 2007December 2007January 2008September 2009January 2011


blog worthy

Bitch, please
Blue Arden
Born to Ride
Caffeine Rush
Car Driver
Reaching for Chocolate Stars and Sapphire Dreams
Click mo mukha mo!
Closet Introvert
Color in a Gray Cube
Confessions of a Coke Addict
Confessions of an OJT Killer
Creating Space 101
Din's World
Emerald Pastures
Hungry Alien
I came, I saw, I blogged
Intelektwal Interkors
Lavander Kitten
Lone Star Psychedelia
Mighty Girl
Modified Memories
Nocturnal Angel
Not Square
Of Life and Peanuts
One Seater Plane
Pile o'smeg
*Photo Seko
Pinay Hekmi
Purple Beanie
Purple Toes
Renaissance Girl
Rock the Boat
Sabitski Point
Stories Under the Sun
Sunny Side Up
Table for One
Ten Years Later
The Blurb
The Digital Pinoy
The Dork Side
The Ultimate BlogHopper
Tinggay Forever
Undiscussable Realms
Unica Hija
Warcar: no bumper
What a Pansy Fancies
White Sky Project
Wytch's Brew
*freshly added


Platform Wedge Sandals by Michael Kors
Semiprecious chain earrings by Cynthia Dugan

Semiprecious chain earrings by Cynthia Dugan
Thump by Oakley (mp3 player and shades in one!)
Thump by Oakley (mp3 player and shades in 1!)

quotable quote

"Love is not love, which alters when it alteration finds."
~William Shakespeare, Sonnet cxvi

in my book bag

I Know Why the Caged 

Bird Sings by Maya Angelou


blogsnob. show off your websites.
# FlipBlogs ?
Rice Bowl Journals
# Filipina O+ ?

Weblog Commenting by

original skins

title : w4rnawarni: (pink) bikini girl (Adfree) designed by w4rnawarni @ blogskins