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Saturday, May 14, 2005

I was brought up to be a devout Catholic. So devout that I looked up to my pre-school teachers who were nuns and while other kids wanted to be doctors and lawyers when they grew up, I, on the other hand, seriously wanted to be a nun. Apart from hearing mass on Sundays and during holy days of obligation, my mom also made sure I joined every single religious organization in our Parish--most of which, I actually enjoyed. My Lola and I would go to church every first Wednesday to pray the Novena to our Lady of Perpetual Help. Papa, believe it or not, was the one who taught me how to read the Bible and the importance of doing it. He was even the one who gave me my first Bible, a King James version (he's a Protestant) with really nice quotes printed in red. I remember spending my weekend afternoons in the sala, reading that Bible, even when I didnt quite understand some of the stuff I had read.

So why was I groaning to myself when we were all asked to attend this "healing session" in the office last Wednesday? Truth is, I had better and more important things to do like my reports and the CS manual management asked me to work on. I was totally skeptical about attending this thing but I went against my will (Boss' orders).

I believe that through prayers, one's faith can heal but I don't believe in faith healers.

Apparently, the President's wife had invited someone from the Devotion of the Divine Mercy (3 o'clock habit) to have this "healing session" in the office. Why? Beats me.

So there was this woman, the "healer", lets call her. She introduces herself and she talks about how God had called her to remind us of our faith. She said something about being under God's wings and she took that as taking a plane to Manila (airplane and wings--get it? Hehe! I swear, thats what she said! Weird noh?) and leaving her job at an insurance company to relay God's message for us. She rambled on about organizations she belonged to and what more she had to give up just to do what she is doing now("Ano ito? Resume niya? To convince us that she is credible?", I was thinking to myself).

Later on, she was showing us this rectangular sticker. It had a white background and in red print, it said "Jesus, I trust in you". She reminded us of the story of the Passover (you know that story where the doors of the homes whose lives would be spared was marked with lamb's blood?) and said that if we had that sticker in the doors of our homes, we would be saved when the Angel of Death arrives. She said, and I swear, these were her very words--"This (holding the sticker up) is your passport to the Kingdom of God!" Eh?!?! Ano daaaww??? Right then and there, I wanted to stand up and say, "Oh? So even if I kill a hundred people, the Angel of Death will spare my life for as long as my home has that sticker?!?" It doesn't take a scientist to know that that was horse crap. We all know that come judgement day, we don't need some sticker (and may I add that the sticker could use some creativity. Its not even a nice-looking sticker!) or anything tangible to save us. We all know that we will be judged for the persons that we are inside.

Now, even when I was totally doubting this healer, when it was time to say prayers, I solmenly prayed. And when she started singing religious songs, I sang with her. (Akalain mo yun, I still know the songs even when I haven't heard and sang them in a long time) My mom always made sure I sing when we hear mass. She said that singing is like praying twice as much. So sometimes, whenever I pray before going to sleep, I sing (of course, I make sure I'm alone. Hehe!).

"Healing time" came. She told us to close our eyes and offer to the Lord whatever it was that we wanted healed. Hmmm, let's see...

Lord, heal me from not being able to forgive myself for not being able to be there for Papa as much as I could have. For not being able to spend as much time with him before he passed away.

Please make my Lolo Samuel better. I don't know what he has but he seems sick because I see him taking medicines. And I hope Jay doesn't have the flu anymore when he wakes up in the morning.

(OMG! I just realized this this very minute, as in this very moment, that God did answer this prayer because Jay felt 100% better Wednesday morning his time. And when I got home that day, I found my Lolo Samuel smiling and singing "Only You". Cute!)

Please always keep my family together. And please make everyone I love healthy and happy. Amen.

A few minutes after that little prayer, the healer tapped me on my shoulder and asked me to sit on the chair in front of her. She held a rosary and with her hand, she pressed the rosary (a plastic one) over my head, my heart, my knees and my legs. Wanna know something weird? We were in a cold room but that rosary felt very warm. Unusually warm. After that, I knelt down the altar and prayed more.

I am not devout. At least not in the way that my Mom hoped I would be. But even if I don't hear mass regulary, even when I am no longer active in any religious organization, even when I no longer lead prayer meetings, even when I haven't read the Bible in awhile, I know my faith. And while I am everything BUT holy and immaculate, I value my values and try my best to stay good. Come judgement day, I think thats all that matters.

You know what's ironic? 2 days after that "healing session", I got sick. Hehehe! I've got sore throat, cough, a headache that won't go away and body pains right now. Can someone say, Flu? huhuhu! Maybe this is God's way of reminding me to never forget to pray. :)

Have a cool weekend!!! (Sana talaga cool...kasi ang init init!!!)

about moi

Loves the beach, wishes she had more time and money to travel, recently got hooked to climbing mountains, reads anything she can get her hands on, frustrated writer, adores her 3-year-old Lhasa Apso, Tashi, constantly needs caffeine, wonders when she'll quit smoking, and will most likely die due to liver complications from drinking too much (if the cigarettes doesn't get to her lungs first). Can't live without accessories especially big, dangling earrings, shoe freak (aren't we all?), sucker for discovering hole-in-the-wall restaurants, will ingest anything spicy, enjoys giving and receiving massages, addicted to Friends, Sex and the City and CSI, goes gaga over kids, dreams of being alone with Jim Morrison and smoking a joint with Bob Marley. Would love to party with Gwen Stefani, shop with Patricia Field, write poetry with Maya Angelou and have Sting, Nelson Mandela, Mark Twain and Bono over for dinner.

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Platform Wedge Sandals by Michael Kors
Semiprecious chain earrings by Cynthia Dugan

Semiprecious chain earrings by Cynthia Dugan
Thump by Oakley (mp3 player and shades in one!)
Thump by Oakley (mp3 player and shades in 1!)

quotable quote

"Love is not love, which alters when it alteration finds."
~William Shakespeare, Sonnet cxvi

in my book bag

I Know Why the Caged 

Bird Sings by Maya Angelou


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