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Tuesday, January 25, 2005


Last year was such a bad year for relationships that I found myself being cynical about love or the mere possibility of ever finding someone who will make me happy. I saw men as scums of the earth, egotistic cowards who don't know what they want, hungry chauvinistic pigs who will always want their cake and eat it too.

2004 left me exhausted from crying over heartaches, from dating and liking men who wasted my time and toyed with my emotions. I welcomed 2005 vowing to never, ever allow a man to confuse me again.

So I started building these walls around me and I made darn sure they were almost indestructible and strong. I was the king and queen of my own kingdom, guard of my own gates, the general of my own army. I was not going to allow anyone to as much as, take a teeny peek into what was behind these great, majestic, impenetrable walls. When the truth is, inside is a girl secretly hoping that someone will be brave enough to use every artillery known to man to break the walls down. Inside, lay a girl, fervently praying that someone would have the heart to believe that something beautiful and very much worth it was lurking behind the cold, ugly, rock-hard walls. Go on, give it your best shot. I'd like to see you try.

Among all the changes that have happened from late 2004 (my dad's passing away, moving back home, wanting to move to the US), this is one that came very unexpectedly. Dare I say, that it seems like everything is falling right into place.

And slowly, ever so carefully, I can see. There is a someone, who is very gently, taking down the walls that I took so long to built. In tiny, baby steps, he is bringing them down, one by one, piece by piece. And surprisingly, the supposedly brave girl inside, can only sit back, stare and watch in awe...

She is smiling but at the same time, she is very scared...

And all this girl can muster to do, while watching in amazement as her walls are slowly being tore down, is cross her fingers, close her eyes, and hope against hope that he is worth it.

He sent me flowers AGAIN today.

I could get used to this, you know. Hahaha!

about moi

Loves the beach, wishes she had more time and money to travel, recently got hooked to climbing mountains, reads anything she can get her hands on, frustrated writer, adores her 3-year-old Lhasa Apso, Tashi, constantly needs caffeine, wonders when she'll quit smoking, and will most likely die due to liver complications from drinking too much (if the cigarettes doesn't get to her lungs first). Can't live without accessories especially big, dangling earrings, shoe freak (aren't we all?), sucker for discovering hole-in-the-wall restaurants, will ingest anything spicy, enjoys giving and receiving massages, addicted to Friends, Sex and the City and CSI, goes gaga over kids, dreams of being alone with Jim Morrison and smoking a joint with Bob Marley. Would love to party with Gwen Stefani, shop with Patricia Field, write poetry with Maya Angelou and have Sting, Nelson Mandela, Mark Twain and Bono over for dinner.

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past bitchings

January 2002February 2002March 2002April 2002May 2002June 2002July 2002August 2002September 2002October 2002November 2002December 2002January 2003April 2003May 2003June 2003July 2003September 2003February 2004March 2004April 2004May 2004June 2004July 2004August 2004September 2004October 2004November 2004December 2004January 2005February 2005March 2005April 2005May 2005June 2005July 2005August 2005September 2005October 2005November 2005December 2005January 2006February 2006March 2006April 2006October 2006November 2006February 2007March 2007April 2007May 2007July 2007October 2007December 2007January 2008September 2009January 2011


blog worthy

Bitch, please
Blue Arden
Born to Ride
Caffeine Rush
Car Driver
Reaching for Chocolate Stars and Sapphire Dreams
Click mo mukha mo!
Closet Introvert
Color in a Gray Cube
Confessions of a Coke Addict
Confessions of an OJT Killer
Creating Space 101
Din's World
Emerald Pastures
Hungry Alien
I came, I saw, I blogged
Intelektwal Interkors
Lavander Kitten
Lone Star Psychedelia
Mighty Girl
Modified Memories
Nocturnal Angel
Not Square
Of Life and Peanuts
One Seater Plane
Pile o'smeg
*Photo Seko
Pinay Hekmi
Purple Beanie
Purple Toes
Renaissance Girl
Rock the Boat
Sabitski Point
Stories Under the Sun
Sunny Side Up
Table for One
Ten Years Later
The Blurb
The Digital Pinoy
The Dork Side
The Ultimate BlogHopper
Tinggay Forever
Undiscussable Realms
Unica Hija
Warcar: no bumper
What a Pansy Fancies
White Sky Project
Wytch's Brew
*freshly added


Platform Wedge Sandals by Michael Kors
Semiprecious chain earrings by Cynthia Dugan

Semiprecious chain earrings by Cynthia Dugan
Thump by Oakley (mp3 player and shades in one!)
Thump by Oakley (mp3 player and shades in 1!)

quotable quote

"Love is not love, which alters when it alteration finds."
~William Shakespeare, Sonnet cxvi

in my book bag

I Know Why the Caged 

Bird Sings by Maya Angelou


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