While I will always believe that nothing will ever compare to the pain I felt (and am still feeling) when I lost Papa, I know that the world does not owe me anything and that it will not stop for my grief. It has far more greater and more important concerns. And while there are a few things that have been bugging me the past weeks, I know that compared to other people, I am still considered lucky and very blessed.
Last Saturday night, while the whole nation was celebrating Pacquiao's victory over Fahsan, I found myself on a bus with volunteers from UP-Pahinungod, a handful of doctors and my mountaineer friends. No, we were not going to conquer another mountain. We were on our way to the town of Real in Quezon for a medical mission. My mom didn't want me to go after seeing Quezon's current state on CNN. But I told her that I had already said yes and there was no way I was passing up the opportunity to help.
We got to Brgy. Tignaon's elementary school at around 4am and started the medical mission an hour later. Ethel and I were assigned in the registration table. Our job was to write down the person's name, age, sex, status and chief health complaint in a log sheet. In another piece of paper, we had to write all those things down again, give it to the patient, have their blood pressure and temperature taken and refer them to a doctor for consultation.
Funny story. I was attending to this middle-aged man...
Me: Sir, kasal na po ba tayo? (was asking for his civil status) Man: Tayo? Hindi pa. Pero sana sinabi mo saakin noon pa para nahintay kita.May asawa na kasi ako ngayon, iha.
Both of us laughed. Hehehe! Cute. See? Some people still know how to crack a joke inspite of all the troubles they go through.
What's weird was, almost everyone had the same ailments. The common ones were abdominal pains, cough and colds, dizziness and athlete's foot.
The medical mission was supposed to end at 3pm but they cut it short to 12nn, for reasons I don't know. Sayang nga eh, coz we really wanted to stay pa. Time flies pala when you're helping others. As long as you're doing it from the heart, ha.
I was looking at each of my friends yesterday. Each one of them were really into what they were assigned to do, no matter how menial or small our role was. And I think it was when I was looking at Ervin, handing out medicines and explaining to a patient when and how many times in a day she should take the meds, that I was left in awe. Here they were, people who drink like whales (hehe!), some smoke like chimneys (*raises hand*), they play pranks on one another, some people would probably think they've never had a serious moment in their entire lives because they're forever goofing around. But here they were, taking a risk, giving up their weekend to help. And I could see it in their faces...how truly sincere they were. How undescribably concerned they were for the people who lost homes, loved ones, belongings, food. And that really warmed my heart. It hit a spot. It made me feel so proud to be with these people, to be able to call them good friends.
And so, the world continues to turn. While I terribly miss my dad, while I sometimes sit at home and try to picture that he's still around and that he's probably on his way home, while I sometimes need to sneak out to just cry because I want to talk to Papa, I have to realize that the world will not stop to sympathize with my problems and my worries. It will go on. Move on. And in a way, I think it's telling me to do the same thing. And deep in my heart I know, Papa would want me to do just that.
Will do, Papa. Will do.
Me and Ethel at work
Photo break with fwends
Bunny @ Monday, December 13, 2004
Loves the beach, wishes she had more time and money to travel, recently got hooked to
climbing mountains, reads anything she can get her hands on, frustrated writer, adores her
3-year-old Lhasa Apso, Tashi,
constantly needs caffeine, wonders when she'll quit smoking, and will most
likely die due to liver complications from drinking too much (if the cigarettes
doesn't get to her lungs first). Can't live without accessories especially
big, dangling earrings, shoe freak (aren't we all?), sucker for discovering
hole-in-the-wall restaurants, will ingest anything spicy, enjoys giving and receiving
massages, addicted to Friends, Sex and the City and CSI, goes gaga over kids, dreams of
being alone with Jim Morrison and smoking a joint with Bob
Marley. Would love to party with Gwen Stefani, shop with Patricia Field, write poetry with
Maya Angelou and have Sting, Nelson Mandela, Mark Twain and Bono over for