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Thursday, December 09, 2004


Aside from Santa...

My biggest critic is arriving from the U.S. tomorrow night.

And I can already hear her reprimanding me for not taking very good care of my skin which she will assume (and she's most probably right) was caused by smoking cigarettes and not visiting my Derma (I hate going to the hospital for check-ups..a trait I got from Papa). And if she ever finds out how much coffee I've been drinking for the past 2 years (since she's been away), she will give me a lengthy sermon on the harmful effects of caffeine on my body and my future offspring. She will also most likely ask me if I'm still into mountain climbing and when I do tell her that yes, I still am, she will go on and on about what a dangerous hobby it is and how she fears that I might gravely injure myself or that I might get killed, raped or hostaged by a NPA or something. She will also inquire if I still drink and when I tell her that I still do, she will give me a lecture on drinking moderately. And I will retaliate by saying that, wasn't she the one who could finish glasses and glasses of margarita during her younger years?

I can already picture her walking towards me, with a smile, looking ever so poised. I can hear her laughing and hounding me with questions about every single facet of my life. I can almost feel her, her hugs and her kisses which I have not felt in 2 years. She's sooo close to home and I can't wait to eat her Beef Stroganoff, Kare-Kare and Caldereta (the right kind of spicy! yum!) again. After 2 years, Mama is coming home and she's staying for the holidays.

For as long as I can remember, my mom and I have had a love-hate kind of relationship. Being the eldest, if there was a problem at home and she and my dad couldn't attend to it, she'd go running to me. Naturally. I always felt that she put so much pressure on me to excel in everything that I do, from getting high grades to learning how to play the piano. She perenially reminded me to be a role model to my younger sisters because they will always look up to me. Because I will always be, according to her, the second mom of the family. Whenever I would get into fights with my sisters, even if I am not the one at fault, Mama would always say, "Ate ka, matuto kang magpasensya." One time, I got so fed up, I said, "Mama, hindi naman ako biscuit noh!". Ha.

Though she's never said it, I know Mama has a secret desire for me to become like her. Problem is, we're different in a lot of ways. When I finished college, I really did not have plans of joining the workforce immediately. But it was Mama who insisted that I get a headstart on my job applications. And to please her, I did just that. And I haven't stopped working since. When I was in college, I told Mama that when I start working, I would subsidize for the tuition of my youngest sister. And I did. When our family's finances were dwindling and Mama asked me to take care of the tuition of another sister, I obliged. At the tender age of 23, I was paying for the schooling of 2 sisters. It was hard, not being able to enjoy the fruits of your labor, while you see your other friends going on weekly shopping sprees and vacations. But well....anything for the family. While I got my happy-go-lucky trait from my dad, my mom's being very responsible rubbed on me a bit. And I'm really grateful for that.

An issue that my mom and I argue about ALL THE TIME is my choice of work/profession. She claims that she can't understand why I don't want to work for a bank or a multinational. At least daw, the pay there is a LOT higher than what I'm currently getting. Then it would be my turn to reiterate that multinational, super corporate companies never did tickle my fancy. And that money isn't that important, at least to me. What's important is that I'm happy with what I'm doing. And besides, I get by with the money I earn. And I like struggling. Hehe. She'd sigh and just say, "Hay, Banini...hindi talaga kita maintindihan."

Being the outspoken one among my sisters, my mom can't take it when I try to justify my actions when she disgarees with them. For her, I'm already answering back. For her, I'm being disrespectful already. But to me, I'm just giving my 2 cents. I'm just being a human being voicing out her feelings and opinions. And I would ask her what was so wrong with that?

I never mentioned this here but my parents have been separated for 3 years. And my mom remarried when she was in the U.S. I remember being so dumbfounded when she told me...

Mom: I remarried.
Me: what? Ma, is this some kind of joke?
Mom: No, it's not a joke. It's true. I fell inlove with someone.
Me: What?!? And you never told me?
Mom: Bunny, can you please be the one to explain to your sisters?
Me: Maaaaa! I can't do that. That's your job.
Mom: Please? Your Papa is upset about it and the story won't come out right if they hear it from him.
Me: Maaaaaa! Ugh. What's your new family name?
Mom: Burger.
Me: What?!?!? As in Ham Burger? Hahahaha!
Mom: Hindi. B-E-R-G-E-R.
Me: Aaaahh...still sounds like hamburger to me! Haha!

And so it was my job to explain to my sisters why Mama is now a sandwich type of food we order in McDonald's or Jolibee. Hehehehe! My mom's husband seems like a pleasant man. We've spoken over the phone a few times and I always tell him to take care of Mama. One time, he told me,

"You know what your Mom says about you, Bunny?"

"What's that?"

"That you're the smartest one among the bunch. And that you're always the one who answers back. And she hates it because when you do, you actually make a good point."

Now, that made me laugh.

My biggest critic is coming home tomorrow. And I'm bracing myself for what she's going to say this time. I can't wait to see my Mom. I'm giddy with excitement!

about moi

Loves the beach, wishes she had more time and money to travel, recently got hooked to climbing mountains, reads anything she can get her hands on, frustrated writer, adores her 3-year-old Lhasa Apso, Tashi, constantly needs caffeine, wonders when she'll quit smoking, and will most likely die due to liver complications from drinking too much (if the cigarettes doesn't get to her lungs first). Can't live without accessories especially big, dangling earrings, shoe freak (aren't we all?), sucker for discovering hole-in-the-wall restaurants, will ingest anything spicy, enjoys giving and receiving massages, addicted to Friends, Sex and the City and CSI, goes gaga over kids, dreams of being alone with Jim Morrison and smoking a joint with Bob Marley. Would love to party with Gwen Stefani, shop with Patricia Field, write poetry with Maya Angelou and have Sting, Nelson Mandela, Mark Twain and Bono over for dinner.

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Platform Wedge Sandals by Michael Kors
Semiprecious chain earrings by Cynthia Dugan

Semiprecious chain earrings by Cynthia Dugan
Thump by Oakley (mp3 player and shades in one!)
Thump by Oakley (mp3 player and shades in 1!)

quotable quote

"Love is not love, which alters when it alteration finds."
~William Shakespeare, Sonnet cxvi

in my book bag

I Know Why the Caged 

Bird Sings by Maya Angelou


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