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Saturday, September 11, 2004


I'm so proud of myself.

Not because I gave a taong grasa the big, yummy ensaymada I was going to gobble up at home last night.

Not because I believe that I'm doing a good job at work and that I have finally found my personal career legend.

But also because I'm not the same girl that I used to be.

I used to be the kind of girl who would cry for days and months on end after a break-up. I would fall asleep crying and wake up crying even more. Remember that scene in "Something's Gotta Give" where Diane Keaton would cry and cry and cry every single minute of her waking day? Well, that was me. My friends would never dare leave me alone when heartbroken due to my tendency to do insane, unthinkable things. O sige na nga, I will admit it, I have a tendency to be self-destructive. I have a tendency to hurt myself when I don't have the heart to take it out on the person that I want to take it out on(which is 99.9% of the time). I also had to be out all the time. And when I say "out", I'm talking about out getting drunk so that when I get home, all I need to worry about is vomiting, and dozing off before you can even say the name of the guy who chopped my heart into pieces and fed it to the pigs.

I'm so proud of myself.

I just realized all this while choosing to spend a Friday night alone at home just watching TV and cleaning the house. I'm happy. I'm not the same girl that I used to be. I've been going straight home from work the past week doing the same thing: eat dinner, watch tv/dvd, read a book and sleep. It's sooo weird. I mean, this is what I've always wanted but it's so....uncanny. I should be miserable, in agony, mournful, wretched. I should be lamenting the loss of the man that could have been the greatest love of my life. But I'm not. I'm so normal. Some of my friends who are surprised by the break-up have been asking why I don't look devastated by the recent turn of events. I don't know. I really don't know where all this strength is coming from, how it arised or why it even exists.

But I do know that I like it.

And that I'm sooo proud of what I have become.

Happy weekend, guys!

about moi

Loves the beach, wishes she had more time and money to travel, recently got hooked to climbing mountains, reads anything she can get her hands on, frustrated writer, adores her 3-year-old Lhasa Apso, Tashi, constantly needs caffeine, wonders when she'll quit smoking, and will most likely die due to liver complications from drinking too much (if the cigarettes doesn't get to her lungs first). Can't live without accessories especially big, dangling earrings, shoe freak (aren't we all?), sucker for discovering hole-in-the-wall restaurants, will ingest anything spicy, enjoys giving and receiving massages, addicted to Friends, Sex and the City and CSI, goes gaga over kids, dreams of being alone with Jim Morrison and smoking a joint with Bob Marley. Would love to party with Gwen Stefani, shop with Patricia Field, write poetry with Maya Angelou and have Sting, Nelson Mandela, Mark Twain and Bono over for dinner.

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past bitchings

January 2002February 2002March 2002April 2002May 2002June 2002July 2002August 2002September 2002October 2002November 2002December 2002January 2003April 2003May 2003June 2003July 2003September 2003February 2004March 2004April 2004May 2004June 2004July 2004August 2004September 2004October 2004November 2004December 2004January 2005February 2005March 2005April 2005May 2005June 2005July 2005August 2005September 2005October 2005November 2005December 2005January 2006February 2006March 2006April 2006October 2006November 2006February 2007March 2007April 2007May 2007July 2007October 2007December 2007January 2008September 2009January 2011


blog worthy

Bitch, please
Blue Arden
Born to Ride
Caffeine Rush
Car Driver
Reaching for Chocolate Stars and Sapphire Dreams
Click mo mukha mo!
Closet Introvert
Color in a Gray Cube
Confessions of a Coke Addict
Confessions of an OJT Killer
Creating Space 101
Din's World
Emerald Pastures
Hungry Alien
I came, I saw, I blogged
Intelektwal Interkors
Lavander Kitten
Lone Star Psychedelia
Mighty Girl
Modified Memories
Nocturnal Angel
Not Square
Of Life and Peanuts
One Seater Plane
Pile o'smeg
*Photo Seko
Pinay Hekmi
Purple Beanie
Purple Toes
Renaissance Girl
Rock the Boat
Sabitski Point
Stories Under the Sun
Sunny Side Up
Table for One
Ten Years Later
The Blurb
The Digital Pinoy
The Dork Side
The Ultimate BlogHopper
Tinggay Forever
Undiscussable Realms
Unica Hija
Warcar: no bumper
What a Pansy Fancies
White Sky Project
Wytch's Brew
*freshly added


Platform Wedge Sandals by Michael Kors
Semiprecious chain earrings by Cynthia Dugan

Semiprecious chain earrings by Cynthia Dugan
Thump by Oakley (mp3 player and shades in one!)
Thump by Oakley (mp3 player and shades in 1!)

quotable quote

"Love is not love, which alters when it alteration finds."
~William Shakespeare, Sonnet cxvi

in my book bag

I Know Why the Caged 

Bird Sings by Maya Angelou


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