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Tuesday, July 13, 2004

BECAUSE I LOVE THEM (and i know you guys do, too)

And I have the hots for Kyan Douglas(Why oh why is he gay?!?!). And I need a good laugh.

Some really funny quotes from Queer Eye for the Straight Guy (of course, the really funny ones were made by Carson. Hahaha!)

Jai Rodriguez: This is like a— Oh my god I think... I think I broke the wall... and I don't think it matters.

Kyan Douglas: You know what I like about disposable razors? They're disposable. throws them all away

Carson: You know, I was always the last kid picked in dodge ball. They were like, "Um, okay we'll take Sharon. Now we'll take the girl in the iron lung and... you guys get Carson."

Butch: Would you like some soy sauce with that?
Carson: There was already some soy sauce in it.
All groaning: Oh, god!
Carson: Was it soy sauce or boy sauce? I can't remember.

Butch: referring to his sleeves I like 'em straight.
Carson: I like 'em straight, too, but it usually doesn't work.

Carson: Look at this! You put a living room where the crack den used to be!

Carson: whispering I see straight people!

Thom: It's harrhible!

Carson: I said walk. Not... march like a weird little troll.

Ted Allen: I'm sensing kind of an alcohol situation here. And botulism.

Carson after finding a pair of women's underwear : I don't remember ever getting drunk here.

Carson: I need a ritalin smoothie to remember all this.

Carson: Jesus Christ, superstar!

Carson upon seeing Lisa: There's a hooker in Trenton who wants her boots back.

Lisa: I thought they would have made you into some corporate yuppie type.
Carson: Who are we? The five fags from IBM?

Carson: When was all your furniture reposessed, then?
Thom: Were you robbed?
Carson: Do you have bad credit, or just bad taste?

Carson: Where'd you get this?
John: Um... Kmart.
Carson putting his hand over John's mouth: Don't use that kind of language around me.

Carson: You're kind of like... not George Strait. George Gay.
Kyan Douglas nodding thoughtfully: I like that... George Gay.

Carson: If she doesn't marry you, you get to marry one of the five of us. Isn't that great? So it's a win/win situation!

Carson looking at John's sparkly shirt: Somewhere in Omaha there's a rave missing a shirt.

John B.: People say I look like Keanu Reeves.
Kyan: Really? People say I look like Keanu Reeves.
Carson: People say I look like Ellen Degeneres!

Carson: What does Tina got that I don't? Besides a working vagina?

Carson: Oh look! My God, more plaid. Just when I thought there was no more left in the universe.

Carson: Look! It's plaid droppings!

Carson finds a videotape: Look, a cooking tape! This is about girls who like to eat stuff. pops tape in
Thom: It looks like he's doing all the eating.
Carson: I don't think this is cooking.

Carson referring to Andrew: I hear he's hung like a bee.

Carson whispering to a shirt in a plastic case: Hold on! Mommy's gonna send for help.

Kyan: Hey, Jai, I found the culture. It's in the bottom of the toothbrush holder.

Ayana: The vagina is leaving the nest.
Thom: No, no, no, we've got Jai.

Carson to Ayana: Love you more than my luggage!

Carson meeting Ayanna: Hi, Peanut.
Ayana: Are we ready for our covert operation?
Carson: Your boyfriend's been upstairs working my last gay nerve.

John: This is so embarassing. To be standing next to a gay guy in skivvies... disposable skivvies.
Kyan: Hey, you're no Prince Charming either, big guy.
John: I'm not even looking at you. I don't want to look that way.
Kyan looks shocked and offended: Are you serious? What's gay about that? I mean over here it's gay, but what's gay about that?
John: 'Cause I'm in skivvies next to gay guy... you just don't understand.

Kyan: Can you make his penis look bigger?
John: Guy, why are you looking at my penis? Kyan cracks up.

Carson: You look like a million dollars. Canadian dollars, but a million dollars.
Ted helpfully: It's still a lot!

Thom: Now why is it a man quiche? Because obviously a gay man would never use that much cream?
Carson: Exactly.

John has a smear of lotion on his cheek
Carson: He might wanna rub that little bit in there.
Ted: It's very There's Something About Mary.
Carson: There's something about John Verdi.

Thom: Can you believe they were talking about cruelty to animals, and they have a red leather sofa the size of a Volkswagen?

John: Thanks to the five guys I feel like... like I've got a spark in my pants.
Thom: That had nothing to do with me! I had nothing to do with a spark in his pants

Thom: If I stole my mother's furniture, I would never ever have a chance of getting laid.

Ted: One of the first illustrations that your refrigerator needs some adjustment is when your milk transitions from a liquid to a solid.

Kyan on George's hair: Even Bon Jovi knew when the moment was over.

Carson: You know what the magic word is?
Josh: Uh...please?
Carson: No... screams NOW!

Thom examining a large stain on the rug: We can't get rid of the rug. This is where his wife gave birth to his first daughter.

Ted holding up handcuffs: Are you involved in law enforcement or is this some kind of a kink thing?

Thom is wearing pink wings
Jai:Those wings make your ass look fierce.
Thom: Don't it though? Do these wings make my ass look big?

Tom is blow-drying his hair.
Kyan: I know all about good blow jobs, and this isn't it.

Tom M: I need like five gay men to come to my house!
Jai looks at Thom and smiles.
Thom: You know I say that all the time!

Tom M: And I'm going to have a sushi buffet...
Carson: Sushi Buffet. That sounds like a drag queen.

Carson: Am I a pretty, pretty princess?

HILARIOUS! I saw a lot more quotes but I haven't seen those episodes yet so I'll save them for next time. Ta-ta!


Kyan, one night lang? Promise. Please? Mwahahahahahha!







about moi


Loves the beach, wishes she had more time and money to travel, recently got hooked to climbing mountains, reads anything she can get her hands on, frustrated writer, adores her 3-year-old Lhasa Apso, Tashi, constantly needs caffeine, wonders when she'll quit smoking, and will most likely die due to liver complications from drinking too much (if the cigarettes doesn't get to her lungs first). Can't live without accessories especially big, dangling earrings, shoe freak (aren't we all?), sucker for discovering hole-in-the-wall restaurants, will ingest anything spicy, enjoys giving and receiving massages, addicted to Friends, Sex and the City and CSI, goes gaga over kids, dreams of being alone with Jim Morrison and smoking a joint with Bob Marley. Would love to party with Gwen Stefani, shop with Patricia Field, write poetry with Maya Angelou and have Sting, Nelson Mandela, Mark Twain and Bono over for dinner.

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