Tuesday, May 07, 2002I miss my childhood. Life was much simpler and worry-free those days. I miss waking up and running downstairs to our table in the garden where my lolo (grandfather) would be sipping his coffee and reading his paper and I would greet him with a hug and smack on the cheek. Afterwhich, i would run to the kitchen to get 2 slices of bread and run back to Lolo and dip my bread in his coffee and eat it. I loved doing that every morning. I love my Lolo and I miss him terribly.
I was his first grandchild so i knew i was a favorite. He was a Captain of a ship and i have the fondest memories of riding his blue gemini with my sister and cousins. He was stern but very loving. He didn't spoil us with material stuff like my Lola (grandma) did (i love my lola just as much!) but instead he spent a lot of time making me and my cousins very happy with his magic tricks and trips to Roxas Blvd. or Cavite just to buy a few kilos of crabs or clams.
Yes, he did a lot of magic tricks. Till this very day i don't know how he could make a coin disappear from his hand and make it appear at the oddest places like my cousin's armpit or my sisters ear. He could also turn a plain sheet of paper into real paper money. I remember getting a 20-peso bill after this particular magic trick and as i was about to go to the store to buy myself a treat, he said that the money was fake and that i had to return it back to him and he gave me 5 pesos in exchange. Eventually, i found out that he was just bluffing. He just didn't want to give me the 20-peso bill.
I remember this day very well, because the next day as i stepped down my school bus and entered my home, my aunt told me that my Lolo died. I told her she was just joking and I called my mom at her office just to confirm. Damn, it was true. I didn't cry. I just kept silent. As a 7-year old, i guess i didn't really know how to handle death yet. It was only until the last day of his wake, while his coffin was being taken away that it dawned on me. He was really gone. I remember running to the coffin, looking at him and crying like i never cried before. I had to let go because they were taking my Lolo away so i sat on a chair and cried. I learned to let go for the first time in my life.
Since then, i talk to him in my prayers because i know that he's there with Jesus, listening to everything i say. I still get teary-eyed when i think of him or when i visit his grave. I often wish he lived long enough to see me as a lady, to scare my suitors away and to be proud of my achievements in life.
It's been 16 years since his death but i still know every minute detail about him. I guess that's how it really is when you've loved someone. You'll learn to let go, move on but you'll never forget them.
I love you Lolo Ben! *sniff sniff*
Loves the beach, wishes she had more time and money to travel, recently got hooked to climbing mountains, reads anything she can get her hands on, frustrated writer, adores her 3-year-old Lhasa Apso, Tashi, constantly needs caffeine,
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