Friday, January 18, 2002Got this from email.... its really funny and its sooooooo true...
I love women. I grew up with them. I grew up around them. I have known
them as sisters, friends, lovers and colleagues. Why, I even have one
for a mother. Yet despitehaving spent all my life with women, I have yet to fully understand what goes on in their pretty little heads. Like what that book said, women are from a totally different planet.
Just to show how different men are from women, try searching for
"annoying habits of women" on the Internet. The first 30 choices would
show a list of annoying habits of men and not women. Why? Because women would do exactly that...list the guy's annoying habits and distribute it among her girl friends. Men usually don't make lists of
the annoying habits of the women in their lives. (Even if they did, they'd probably forget about it.)
Just to be fair, I think women ought to know what ticks us off, don't you think?
10. Travelling in Packs
I could never understand this about you women. Why must you go around accompanied by other women? You know how hard it is for guys to strike up a conversation when your girl friend is giving you a suspicious look? Guys would have to wait for one of you to break from the pack to begin an approach-kinda like lions stalking gazelles.
And if we do dare approach one of you in a pack sooner or later one of
your girl friends would go-"Let's go to the washroom." I never realized that going to the bathroom was a group activity.
I have been informed that women talk when they're inside the washroom. Okay maybe they do need to go to the bathroom but that probably takes five minutes tops. The next 10 minutes goes to chika. About what? Practically about anything.
Which leads us to...
Women love to talk. You can talk about anything. Your favorite approach though is dissecting every single bit of information in a dialogue. What he said. What exactly did he mean by it. How did he say it. Can't you take anything for what it is? It's not like we're doing an exegesis of the Bible or anything. When we say "Hey let's have lunch" we mean "Let's-get-food-together". It's not "Let's get food together so
I can jump your bones". Nah we don't do that. (Not all of us anyway.) A
real guy, one who you can truly respect, would say what he wants outright.
Okay, I know most of you like cutesy stuff. Things with big eyes.
Anthropomorphic things. Things with fur. Once in a while we can appreciate the cute stuff. It's a dreary world and a lot of bad things are happening and yes we'd like to see cute, funny things once in awhile.
But please there's such a thing as overdoing it. Insisting of having
everything in purple is not cute. Having PowerPuff underwear might be
cute and even sexy but insisting on calling you Buttercup when you're 35 is downright scary.
7. License to Drool
How come it's okay for you to drool at Tom Cruise or that Legolas
character from "Lord of the Rings" but if I even mention Assunta de
Rossi or Angelina Jolie you start developing a pout?
And speaking of double-standards...
6. You Against Us
Everytime two or more women gather together, why does it have to turn
into Men vs Women? Eventually the discussion devolves into "Don't you
hate it when he..." or "Guy kasi eh." Sure I'm for equality between sexes but come on! The Bra-burning 60s and the Girl Power 90s are over and done with. You're getting the recognition you deserve so please don't get Womyn on us and pounce, ok? You don't have to turn
everything into a gender issue. We're on the same side.
5. The Phone Trap
Stop insisting that I say "I love you" over the phone. Because you don't
know who may be within earshot and it won't help if I get mushy with you right now. (Especially if you ask me to say it in the Elmer Fudd voice.)
4. Stop Feeding Us!
Or more specifically, stop asking us to finish your food. Once in awhile
it's okay to do it but if everytime we eat out, we end up finishing that
whole plate of pasta you ordered maybe you'd better rethink next time you order.
And then you complain about how our stomachs start spilling over our
3. We're Not Mind Readers
When we ask you what's wrong, we need you to tell us. It doesn't help
if you just respond with "You should know." We won't be asking if we knew right?
Knowing what you want is well and good. Communicating it however is an entirely, equally important task. It would be a big help if you don't
keep us guessing. We don't have your intuition.
Sometimes the surest way for a guy not to do anything you ask him to
do is for you to remind him over and over again. You know what goes on a guy's head when you nag him? He unconsciously blocks off what you're saying-like adultspeak in those Charlie Brown cartoons. It becomes background noise and naturally it will be forgotten.
The tip is to look at a guy straight in the eye and ask if he has done
that thing you were asking him to do. If he answers negatively, just say
'uh-huh.' And walk away. Which will bring up #3 on our list. If he asks you what's wrong then you can tell him what he hasn't done yet. That way, you don't nag.
1. The Trick Question
It's not fair to ever ask us the question: "Do I look fat?" Any answer
to that question spells trouble. We say no, and you'll say we're patronizing. We say yes, and you accuse of being mean and that we don't love you anymore. What's a poor guy to do?
Loves the beach, wishes she had more time and money to travel, recently got hooked to climbing mountains, reads anything she can get her hands on, frustrated writer, adores her 3-year-old Lhasa Apso, Tashi, constantly needs caffeine,
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